Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
