Don't make out with my wife yet
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
