didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You're a waste of cheezeits
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize