my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
