I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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