I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize