we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
