I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
