Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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