Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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