During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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