saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
