we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize