you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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