I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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