Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
