I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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