Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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