Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
