we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize