omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
