I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
