I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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