So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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