We're facebook friends in real life
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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