Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
