I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
