i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
