just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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