Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
