Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
