Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
