Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
