You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
