the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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