I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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