What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
