i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
