he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
