so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize