I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
