Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
