see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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