he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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