I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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