Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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