that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
