I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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