Don't you send me to vm
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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