Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
bring money and cleavage
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
