I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
