Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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