Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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