I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
