I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
