I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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