we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
