turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
