We're facebook friends in real life
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You left your phone here
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