ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
