let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
